Through My Clients’ Eyes: What Families Often Miss About OCD and Recovery - A collection of client experiences as told by an OCD therapist
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition that stems from a combination of biological (genetic), psychological, and environmental factors. OCD runs in families and it is estimated that approximately 1 in 40 people in the United States has the condition. It’s not something a person simply chooses or causes on their own. OCD can be complex, often debilitating for those experiencing it. And it is fear driven, not driven by preference. The myth that OCD is when someone chooses to be neat or clean because it is aesthetically pleasing to them is completely false. An individual with OCD’s brain will fixate on a variety of subtypes such as fears around harming others, fears around anxiety raising and not going down, fear of vomiting, intrusive taboo thoughts (like fear of being attracted to children), fears around making mistakes, fears around feeling “off”, etcetera.
Recovery
When people first start treatment at CalmOCD they are often struggling with debilitating anxiety symptoms, navigating excessive guilt and shame, and living a life ruled by intrusive thoughts. They feel the obsessions (fears, worries, doubts) they experience and their uncomfortable emotions are the problem and will feel like they have no other choice but to do what their brain tells them to do to reduce or avoid discomfort. For example, a mother experiencing Emetophobia (fear of vomiting) may begin to avoid interacting with children, cancel their child’s play dates, and excessively disinfect at the expense of engaging in their child’s life or playtime. The avoidance and cleaning behaviors they participate in relieve anxiety and doubt temporarily, but ultimately the behaviors snowball which lead to more distress and isolation.
However, through treatment at CalmOCD clients learn that obsessions and emotions such as anxiety, are actually not the problem! You heard that right- the response (compulsive behaviors) to these thoughts and feelings are what is keeping an individual with OCD from living the life they deserve.
Everyone’s journey is unique
Each individual with OCD is unique and therefore their recovery journey will vary. For some individuals they can complete their goals within a couple of months while others may benefit from a longer term maintenance plan where they continue attending ERP sessions as they experience new stressors or life changes. Treatment at CalmOCD is uniquely tailored to each individual, taking into account their specific obsessions, compulsions, triggers, and personal goals to create the most effective treatment plan.
What do people learn in treatment with CalmOCD?
Quality treatment for OCD involves clients learning that they can experience a wide range of emotions from positive to uncomfortable. It is possible to experience discomfort, uncertainty, shame, etc and not have uncomfortable feelings dictate their life and choices. Typically clients can experience the following improvements:
1. Less time and energy spent on OCD.
- You learn through experience that it is possible to not engage in compulsions. With education and experiential learning you view compulsions as optional rather than automatic, or something that must be done.
- You feel there is more mental energy and time freed up during the day when you are engaging in compulsions less.
2. Increased flexibility and tolerance for uncertainty.
- You can move toward uncomfortable emotions and not live a life dictated by fear.
- You can feel discomfort and let it be there.
3. Better functioning in daily life.
- You can work, study, socialize, and enjoy hobbies without OCD dominating your schedule.
- You start making decisions based on your values, not on fear.
4. Shifts in mindset.
- You see intrusive thoughts as mental “noise” rather than dangerous signals.
- You stop measuring success by whether OCD thoughts go away, and start measuring by how you respond to them.
5. Relapse prevention and resilience.
- You know your triggers and early warning signs.
- You have a toolkit (ERP skills, mindfulness, self-compassion) ready if symptoms flare up.
What can individuals and families expect once someone has been through treatment?
Treatment focuses on changing your relationship with OCD, not making it vanish.OCD can be a long-term condition, but it doesn’t belong in the driver’s seat. With consistent skill use, its influence can shrink until it no longer directs the journey. It’s also very normal for OCD to change forms or revisit old themes. The good news is that the same ERP skills apply every time—because the skills target the process, not the content.
Individuals with OCD will have the ability to continue to lessen the impact of OCD through daily practice. This means you or your loved one will actively engage in exposures on your own once you have completed ERP.
It is also completely normal to experience OCD flare-ups- where OCD impact occasionally grows (instead of shrinks). Some common triggers of an OCD flare can include:
- Stress and life changes (ie moving, new job, starting college, getting married, getting divorced, grief/loss)
- Hormonal changes (ie puberty, pregnancy, menopause)
Recovery is possible AND it can also be a non-linear process- an individual can simultaneously have made progress with managing OCD while also experiencing new or ongoing challenges. Sometimes clients need “tune up” sessions or maintenance sessions after their initial OCD treatment to help them get back on track with ERP. For families, seeing a flare-up can feel disheartening but keeping in mind these factors can aid in holding space and compassion for your loved one. We also offer SPACE sessions for families, empowering loved ones to support recovery by reducing accommodation and responding to OCD in helpful, skill-based ways. Families can pause and ask: What response right now supports values-based living rather than OCD, and how can we offer that support?
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