When Doing Less Does More: Empowering Kids with SPACE

By Sara Brungardt, PhD., LPC
Owner & Clinical Director of CalmOCD – Sandy, UT | Tucson, AZ | Scottsdale, AZ

What Is SPACE?

SPACE stands for Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions — a parent-based treatment program designed for children and adolescents struggling with anxiety, OCD, and related challenges.

Developed by Dr. Eli Lebowitz at the Yale Child Study Center, SPACE has been rigorously tested and proven effective in randomized controlled trials.

At CalmOCD, we’ve also seen how powerful these principles can be when applied to parents and spouses of adults with OCD. By reducing accommodating behaviors that unintentionally maintain symptoms, loved ones often discover they are not just observers — they are active agents of change who play a central role in improving the entire family system.

Why Parents Matter More Than They Realize

In my 14 years as a mental health therapist — nine of which I’ve devoted specifically to OCD and anxiety — I’ve learned that most parents underestimate their ability to influence their child’s symptoms. The way caregivers respond day to day can either strengthen or weaken anxiety patterns.

When parents fully understand their child’s diagnosis, treatment goals, and support strategies, the family’s healing process becomes faster, smoother, and more meaningful.

It’s natural for parents to want to rescue or reassure their child when distress arises — that’s what parents do. But what if these well-intentioned actions are actually reinforcing the anxiety?

At CalmOCD, we help families identify subtle accommodations and teach them new ways to respond that foster independence and confidence — not fear and avoidance.

The Benefits of Working with Parents First

Working with parents before involving the child directly often leads to better outcomes. Here’s why:

1. Parents Are the Primary Agents of Change

Children often rely on their parents to navigate anxiety-provoking situations. SPACE equips caregivers with tools to reduce reassurance and accommodation, empowering them to create meaningful change at home.

2. Reduces Family Accommodation

Family accommodation includes behaviors like providing excessive reassurance, avoiding triggers, or modifying routines. SPACE helps parents gradually reduce these behaviors in a structured and supportive way, often leading to symptom reduction even before child-focused therapy begins.

3. Enhances Child Readiness

When parents begin using SPACE techniques, children naturally face gentle exposures to anxiety-provoking situations — making therapy less intimidating and more effective once it starts.

4. Builds Parent Confidence and Competence

SPACE gives parents practical, evidence-based strategies. This not only reduces their own anxiety and guilt but also models calm confidence — something their child deeply needs to witness.

5. Reduces the Intensity of Symptoms Upfront

Studies show that parent-led SPACE interventions can significantly lower anxiety levels even before children meet with a therapist, making subsequent sessions smoother and more sustainable.

6. Aligns the Family System

Anxiety often influences — and is influenced by — family dynamics. Working with parents first ensures that the home environment supports rather than undermines therapeutic progress.

The Paradox of Protection

When a child says, “Mom, I can’t sleep unless you stay,” or “Dad, can you check the stove one more time?” it’s tempting to oblige for short-term relief.

But each accommodation sends an unintended message:

“You can’t handle this on your own.”

And anxiety thrives on that message.

SPACE flips that script.

From Reassurance to Real Support

SPACE teaches parents two key responses that transform how they engage with their child’s anxiety:

• Support: “I know this is hard for you.”
  (Acknowledges the child’s struggle with empathy and calm.)
• Confidence: “I believe you can handle this.”
  (Communicates belief in the child’s ability to face discomfort.)

This shift is subtle but powerful. The parent’s job isn’t to eliminate anxiety — it’s to remove the behaviors that feed it, while showing warmth and belief along the way.

When the Child Isn’t Ready — The Parent Still Can Be

One of the most remarkable aspects of SPACE is that the child doesn’t need to attend therapy for progress to happen. Parents become the change agents.

Even if a child refuses to participate, parents can quietly reshape the environment at home — fostering resilience, independence, and confidence from the outside in.

Why It Works

SPACE has strong scientific backing — research shows it can be as effective as child-based CBT for treating anxiety and OCD.

Children learn that distress can be tolerated and overcome. Parents regain a sense of control and peace, no longer walking on eggshells or micromanaging every anxious moment.

The Takeaway: Empowerment Over Protection

SPACE isn’t about tough love — it’s about changing the language of love.
From “I’ll protect you from fear” to “I believe in your strength.”

“I know this is scary.
But I know you can do it.
You are capable of doing hard things.
You are amazing.”

Parents are not just bystanders in their child’s journey — they are powerful catalysts for change.

At CalmOCD, we partner with caregivers to help them support without accommodating, foster confidence instead of reassurance, and build lasting resilience in their children.

Recommended Reading

Breaking Free of Child Anxiety & OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents
By Dr. Eli Lebowitz